Being Present in Fights

Being present in a fight is important for both learning later and being able to make decisions in the moment that are important for strategy, noticing patterns and taking advantage of opportunities. Sometimes people are technically present during the match, but can’t recall the details later, while some are not really present at all, and are just running on autopilot.

I hear many people telling me that they don’t remember what happened in the fight that they just had. This is odd to me, as I have pretty much always been able to remember the fights. However, I have worked with people who struggle to be present in fights, and as a mental health therapist in my mundane job, I thought I would write this page to help people understand the cognitive and biological aspects of what might influence us not to be present.

Being Present

Being cognitively present in the fight means that you will be able to make explicit (active) decisions and strategies for your implicit (passive) muscle memory tactics to enact. This also allows you to recall afterwards what your fight included. Memory is key to being able to improve your skill, and indeed those who don’t recall their fights frequently hit a plateau and can’t improve due to that lack of recall.

To recall details of a fight requires two major elements:

  1. The physical ability to store events as memories (biology)
  2. The cognitive ability to connect event memories to meaning (cognition / understanding)

There are three components that we may need to address:

  1. During the fight
    • Being present during the fight
    • Storing the memories to recall afterwards
  2. A theoretical understanding of what parts of the fight mean

If you don’t recall what happened in the fight, it can be because you are not cognitively present during the fight. If you are not cognitively present, this means that you can’t make decisions, strategies and implement tactics, and actions are on autopilot. If you aren’t present during the bout, then you won’t record what happened because you weren’t consciously aware of it.

There are two major reasons why we may not be present during the fight (if this is common).

  1. Disassociation
  2. Slipping into a fight / flight reflex

Disassociation is often a matter of having adequate levels of the body chemicals:

  • Neurotransmitters (these allow us to think, feel and store)
    • Dopamine for comprehension of meaning
    • Neuronal Noradrenaline to feel safe rather than being in fight / flight mode
    • Neuronal Adrenaline to initiate actions and track events
    • Endorphins to feel like you are having fun and keep you out of fight / flight mode
  • Blood sugar
  • Iron / Ferritin
  • Vitamin B6 and C
  • Body Adrenaline to initiate actions without stress

You’ll note that some of the neurotransmitters being out can cause fight / flight mode. Most often, fight / flight mode is triggered by biology.

Slipping into fight / flight mode may be more than just biological problems (which we’ll cover later and often require medical assistance), but can also be a state of mind and triggered by past experiences. You may have a history of harm where you find it hard to feel relaxed enough to engage in a martial art, such as fencing, without triggering mind or body memories of previous times that you were in a harmful situation. Despite the bombardment from social media about trauma, this is actually quite rare. If this is something you are experiencing, this may require support from a trauma therapist [more on trauma].

What you can do about history based sensitivity yourself is:

  • Being clear with the people you are training with that you do have a difficult history
  • Fencing only people that you are comfortable with
  • Having clear language about when you have had enough and what to do if you slip into an anxiety or panic attack.
  • If you have included people in your management plan, then they can help you in the correct way instead of the wrong way for you.
    • Talk to your therapist about how to do this
    • Key words to give to them are:
      • Anxiety management plan (how to signal a pause / stop, breathing patterns, how someone else supports you)
      • Desensitisation (keeping the exposure to the trigger lower than you triggering while building resilience against that)
      • Body care (when to eat or drink something, when to take a break)

Memory

Memory is key to learning. Learning requires us to understand what worked so that we can repeat it, and what didn’t work, so that we can alter it or discard it. For us to be able to record what happens, we need to be aware in the moment – being present.

We need to be cognitivey present during the fight to be able to store memories. You might be cognitively present (able to notice things and make decisions) but not have the biological capacity to store memories afterwards (mostly due to low blood sugar level and or adrenaline being too high). If you don’t recall the fight, you likely won’t recall being present.

Memory problems are made up of problems with biology and or problems with our theoretical understanding.

Biology

We are biological beings. Our consciousness resides in our brain, where we record our history and reason out our solutions. Our brain not only resides in our body, but is a part of our body. What affects our body, affects our brain.

Our brain weighs 2% of our body mass, howwever it uses 20% of our bodies resources. What this means is, anything that affects your body has a magnified affect on your brain.

Hunger

The food that we consume is turned into basic building blocks for our body to operate and repair. A critical component that our brain uses is glucose from our blood. When our blood sugar is low, such as when we are doing vigorous activity and or heavy thinking, then our body should release sugar stores for us to burn.

Glaucous is an important component to storing memories. If your blood sugar is low or high, this can interfere with your ability to store memories, and that makes it very hard to learn.

Two common conditions that can interfere with that is diabetes and ADHD. While ADHD is not the same as diabetes, often slow sugar release can occur when working at high speed, simulating the same low blood sugar that diabetes can suffer from. We feel that as confusion, struggles with being present, and poor recording of events. If you don’t record the events, you can’t recall them later.

Protein can also be a problem. We use protein, specifically tyrosine and triptophan, to make our neurotransmitters, especially dopamine. Dopamine runs our front brain, which is where we do our understanding, solving and trigger our conscious actions. When we run out of protein, we also run out of dopamine. This is double difficult for ADHDers.

Surprisingly high numbers of fencers have poor vitamin C. Vitamin C is an important ingredient for making the various chemicals that our brains use for understanding, memory and being present. You need around 40 mg of Vitamin C every day, which is quite easy to get with fortified black current cordial, orange and mango juice, or eating citrus foods. Vitamin C supplement pills are often far stronger than 40 mg, so consider breaking the tablets to get closer to the right dose. If you have been low in Vitamin C, you can absorb 80 mg in a day. If you are low and fighting off an infection, you might go a bit higher than that. Be warned: Vitamin C can make it hard to metabolise many medications that you took within 1 hour of having strong amounts of Vitamin C.

It is wise to eat prior to fencing, so that you have sufficient sugar and protein to think clearly with. It is also wise to have some snacks between bouts to help keep your levels high enough. If you find that food with exercise makes you feel sick, then perhaps you have problems with Adrenaline Overload.

Adrenaline

Adrenaline is a very necessary component for memory and action. Insufficient adrenaline often feels like depression or fatigue, while oversupply feels like fear, anger or anxiety. If you struggle with either depression or anxiety, that can indicate that you may have some problems with your neuronal (brain) adrenaline or noradrenaline. I talk a lot more about this in my professional page here.

Neuronal adrenaline is an important ingredient in forming memories. If your adrenaline is too high, or too low, it makes it hard to store information, which makes it quite difficult to recall for learning later. This is particularly problematic for ADHDers who often compensate for low dopamine by upping both glaucous and adrenaline. This leads to getting the thing done, but not learning from it later. We can sometimes mistakes this for disassociation.

While calming and grounding exercises can help reduce a peak moment, or return you more rapidly to your baseline if you are having an unusual stress day, it is not very good for a diagnosable condition such as anxiety (social or general), aggression or ADHD.

  • Anxiety feels like:
    • Being worried that people are judging you (social anxiety) [mostly low noradrenaline]
    • Being on the edge of fight / flight most of the time (general anxiety) [may need a beta blocker]
    • Negative self talk (always picking on yourself in your head, feeling that you are very wrong or the cause of all problems) [mostly low noradrenaline]
  • Aggression feels like:
    • Everyone else is at fault for everything
    • Black and white thinking (there is no subtle)
    • People just don’t understand me, and that is very annoying
    • Mostly sudden movements, mild and slow movements are frustrating
  • ADHD feels like:
    • Struggles to focus
    • Struggles to comprehend
    • No practice, only good – drills are deadly boring
    • Struggle to be on time / be prepared / be still; unless anxiety is overriding it

If you are more struggling with trigger based adrenaline, where your body mistakes the fight as too serious and thus tries to helpfully protect you by releasing too much adrenaline, then therapy and slower practice can help. Therapy needs to around how you are narrating the event – “this is practice” or “this is mock fighting, this person doesn’t really want to hurt me” and “it is fine for me to make mistakes, that is how we learn”. Slower practice is about reducing the speed from full speed sparring to where you are able to maintain control, feel present and recall the training afterwards. Keep your fencing at this speed and only slowly increase the pace to push the boundary of speed while retaining being present.

For the conditions such as anxiety, anger and ADHD, you’ll likely need to consider medication.

Medication

Many medications affect how we think, feel, store memories and behave. This is because they affect our body, and as stated above, what affects our body affects our brain. Sometimes medication can be a problem for learning and being present, sometimes medication is a solution to problems with learning and being present.

If you do not have a diagnosis for a condition that you think you may have, then the first step is to talk to your GP about it. While some doctors do additional professional development in mental health, unfortunately, mostly most General Practitioner Doctors only did 8 hours on mental health and 4 hours on medications in their medical degree. It is wise to do some research on the condition that you think may apply to you before seeing them. While online assessments are not as reliable as an in person assessment by a specialist, it can be a good indicator for your doctor that they should refer you to a relevant specialist. GP’s are not specialists.

The most common medication prescribed for mental health is SSRI medication. Most of it doesn’t do much for long term conditions. I say that as a specialist in mental health. SSRI stands for Select Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor, which approximately makes your virtual level of serotonin higher and more efficient. Serotonin doesn’t affect your dopamine, noradrenaline or adrenaline, which are the biggest likely culprits for problems in being present.

Medications that can help

Here are some that GP’s can prescribe that may be more effective. Keep in mind, this is to help inform you in your conversation with your doctor, not to diagnose you and tell you what medications you must take.

  • Only 1 of these should be taken – these don’t stack well
    • Sertraline (Zoloft)
      • This SSRI helps your brain do two things
        • 1, Decrease the over reaction from events
        • 2, Make a bit more dopamine for the next 24 hours
      • Sertraline is useful if you are more struggling to think clearly than having emotional regulation problems (although it can help that too)
    • Desvenlafaxine (Pristiq / Desven)
      • This SNRI (Serotonin Noradrenaline Reuptake Inhibitor) helps your brain in 3 ways
        • 1, Decrease the over reaction from events
        • 2, Increase the virtual amount of noradrenaline in your middle brain [amygdala] (your safe / not safe determiner)
          • If you tend to use caffeine to feel better (mood) then this often works well.
          • If you think better with caffeine but feel more anxious, then this is not the medication for you
        • 3, It has a mild improvement in dopamine as an upstream effect of improved noradrenaline levels
      • Desvenlafaxine is useful if you are having troubles with negative self talk, depression, fluctuating mood, black and white thinking, self harm thoughts / actions
  • Clonidine (Catapres)
    • This α2A-adrenergic receptor agonist slows down over surges of your adrenal system, decreasing over reaction and decreasing that feeling of always waiting for the disaster. It does a few things:
      • 1, Heart
        • Decreases blood pressure
        • Decreases sudden adrenaline surges, such as can be felt if your heart suddenly increases in rate
        • Improves your heart rate returning to your base rate after an event
        • Don’t take if you have low blood pressure and be aware it shouldn’t generally be taken with another blood pressure medication – talk to your specialist
      • 2, Decreases increase the virtual amount of noradrenaline in your middle brain [amygdala] (your safe / not safe determiner)
        • If you are frequently on the edge of fight / flight mode, this decreases that over readiness
        • If you are feeling overly active but struggling to think, this really helps that
        • If you find your ADHD meds help you think but put you in a panic or prompt odd thinking like grandiosity, taken at the same time as your ADHD medication, this helps
      • 3, Upstream improvement to dopamine in your forebrain
    • Clonidine is useful if you are frequently in fight / flight mode, experiencing strong reaction to triggers, PTSD over reaction, often looking for fights

There are other medications that can help, but that is beyond some basic advice on the internet.

Medications that might cause problems

I’m going to say this carefully, because I don’t know you, and I don’t know why you are taking any of these medications, thus I don’t know if these medications are needed for a good reason (and there are good reasons why you might need to take these medications). Do not stop taking these medications without talking to your specialist.

  • Mirtazapine
    • If used for sleep, may not be a good choice due to the side effects on your thinking
  • Antiepileptic medication
    • This medication can make it hard to focus, feel present and can effect memory
  • Antipsychotic medication
    • If used for sleep or bipolar, may not be a good choice due to the side effects on your thinking (blocks dopamine in the forebrain)
  • Statin
    • I’m adding this here in that if your LDL cholesterol is too low, it can interfere with your brain chemistry
    • If you haven’t had your cholesterol tested in the last 6 to 12 months, checking that your LDL cholesterol is not lower than 2.5, if it is, ask your specialist about potentially altering your dose

Again, there are good reasons why you may need to take these medications and that is likely to be the priority.

In my experience as a therapist, these medications can be given for poor reasons, where they do have the desired effect (such as helping you to sleep), but at a cost that isn’t good if there are other options. If your struggle is going to sleep, in my professional page, I’ve got a good page on Beating Pre-Sleep Anxiety.

Talk to your Specialist

These are not the only medications that help, but they are a good place to start from. If you aren’t having much luck with your specialist:

  • Doctor – see a new doctor
  • Psychiatrist – get a doctors referral to a new psychiatrist, one who will listen to you and try some medications to address your symptoms more than the medications that are on their list of the condition you have been diagnosed with
    • Consider an ADHD psychiatrist as most people that have memory / being present problems have ADHD, and the medications for this are quite different to regular short term anxiety and depression

Head Injury

Old head injuries can make it harder to stay present, understand and use memories effectively. Be patient and recognise that repetition is your friend.

If you have recently received a blow to your head, then your brain has likely been jarred or you have concussion, which will effect your ability to store memories. Stop fencing for a few days to a week. If you suspect you have had a concussion, see your doctor as quickly as feasible or go to the emergency department of your nearest hospital.

Theoretical Understanding

If you know how to drive or do some other complex task, then you may recall when you were first learning that it was very hard. You may have been so focused on just not stalling the engine that you missed the stop sign. Greg, the stop sign! (or some equivalent). When we don’t really have a good cognitive understanding of what we are doing, and have not practiced experiencing certain things, then it takes a great deal more time and energy to recognise the parts. This quickly leads to working space (a part of our Executive Function that combines understanding and short term memory) becoming overrun. Once your working space is full, you cannot comprehend the next part, which leads to losing the next thing that happens, because you can’t recognise it in time before the next thing happens. This may lead to choppy memory, where some actions are recalled, but most are missing; or a total loss of the rest of the fight.

The more you understand the parts, the better you understand the why, and the more you practice recognising those bits, the faster and more efficient you get at storing the story and events of what happened, which improves your memory and later analysis.

Scaffolding

We humans learn information by comparing it to information we already know.

This new thing is like this other thing I know, but different to that in this way.

If I were to tell you a fact without any explanation that you are very unfamiliar with, then while you may recall the words for a while, without a deeper understanding of what that actually means, you will shorty forget the words and any minor meaning you may have gleaned. You may not even know that I have told you a fact later.

When we learn about a particular sword master’s system, we are learning a scaffold of moves, stances, wards and attacks that we can build other moves that we witness on to.

We can manually use this knowledge to improve our cognition during a fight or training. Firstly, we want to start with a set of simple ideas, then build complexity to those once they are mastered.

  1. For example, you can attack by thrusting on the torso centreline. Anywhere that lands is good.
  2. On the centreline, below the navel is generally a thrust downwards, above the navel and below the armpit lateral is a horizontal thrust, and anything above the armpits is generally a rising thrust.
  3. Thrusting off the centreline can force your opponent to move in the direction you desire, setting them up for a cut.
  4. We can split the head/torso into 9 regions, with the centre square being the horizontal middle third of the torso between the navel and armpits, allowing you to attack different segments with a partially withdrawn blade between thrusts, or if your opponent is backing away, with a step and re-thrust with a new direction for a new target.
  5. And we can go on increasing complexity as your understanding rises.

Using this, we can get an escalating level of understanding.

  1. A thrust is coming for your torso. Void or sweep your blade to block.
  2. A thrust is coming below your navel, so low block; or it is above your navel, so upper body block.
  3. A thrust is coming for your face, so highline block, then it is going for your lower body, so lower defence block.
  4. A thrust is attacking your left hip, the fencer is withdrawing minimally to re-target, so side step and attack back, where your side step gains distance. They have recentred and are now doing a combination of right hip to left shoulder with an advance step between, so advance step to their left shoulder as you basket block and thrust back.

We are effectively using layering of our initial understanding chunks. Chunking is when you put several items together that have a common theme, so that you can recall them in a cluster of information rather than many unrelated ideas.

We store and recall information better when we have an understanding of meaning for the item and we connect the concept to something else that we understand.

For example, an apple is a part of a plant. The kind of plant is a tree. The apple is edible vegetation. The category of apple is fruit, both because it is sweet and it has seeds inside surrounded by pulp. We can eat an apple raw, or cook it. Stewing apple is very tasty, as is apple crumble. Apples can be red or green, although sometimes it is yellow.

When you think about apples, you already have all of these knowledge connections in your mind built up through years of learning about apples as you casually experience them. What we want to do is manually build up this knowledge connection to things that you want to learn.

  • A thrust is one of the three forms of attack you can legally do in the SCA
    • Thrust, push/pull cut, percuss for CnT
  • A thrust is pushing the tip towards your opponent such that it touches them.
  • The thrust is generally faster than a cut.
    • A good thrust travels a straight line at the tip.
      • For your tip to travel a straight line requires doing several counter rotations of your arm segments, isolating the tip while the basket, hand, wrist, elbow and shoulder do various circles to maintain that tip control.
    • A thrust can curve, but large curves are slower and perhaps a cut is better
    • A cut can be turned into a thrust by rotating the blade to the short of the sword
      • A short of the sword thrust has a range disadvantage, but that is often counteracted by the speed advantage of doing a cut like move, but with a thrust result
  • Most thrusts are best done with a horizontal push, with your palm horizontally up or down.
    • Palm is generally up if your opponents sword is on your non sword side
    • Palm is generally down if it is on your sword side
    • This creates a barrier for their sword that makes it hard for them to counter attack, if you have caught their sword.
      • Their sword should be caught by connecting their top 1/3 point to your bottom 1/3 point
      • Close enough is good enough
      • This fails if your collecting their top 1/6 as they will evade your capture

The more we create recognition of the various uses of the sword and why we might do that, built in basic chunks that evolve in layers, the easier it is to glance at the sword, recognise it and have deeper knowledge about what that means. This speeds of recognition and recording, which leaves more brain space for doing other things, like travelling your decision tree.

Decision Tree

A decision tree (or flow chart) is a series of “if this happens, then I’ll do that” points. Often we rehearse these in slow motion during training, building speed and variations as we become more comfortable with the movements. This can be lots of fun, but also can easily become overwhelming.

For example, let us say that you want to learn some things to do against a person stepping into your space and thrusting at your upper third.

  1. What can you do about this that keeps you untouched by their sword, but doesn’t weaken your ability to keep them under threat?
    • In this example, we will do an upper body block, where you bring your sword across your body, tip higher than their sword, basket lower, to push their blade to the outside, point towards their face
    • Then to land the blow, you may need to step and push your blade towards them; or just a slight extension of your sword if they are too close

Practice these steps at slow speed until you have a sense of it, then speed it up until you can at least do this accurately at medium speed. Your opponent shouldn’t increase the resistance to your counter, unless you do a very poor counter. They should increase the speed with you.

Now we add another step. What can you do about a thrust to your lower third with the same philosophy from above?

Once you have practiced that to a medium speed and got comfortable with that, your opponent is now going to randomise which attack they launch with a step. Slow this back down until you are able to manage both options without difficulty, practice and gradually speed up.

There are 4 major components to drills.

  1. Speed
  2. Complexity
  3. Resistance from your opponent
  4. something else that I can’t remember right now

You have now practiced a decision fork. This is a part of the overall decision tree that you will form, from beginning to the end of the match. We are not predicting every move, we are training good responses to slightly different moves so that we can manage this in our automatic system so that our cognitive system is analysing patterns rather than specific moves. As your decision tree improves, you will automatically jump to the part that is relevant to the current conditions.

Chess is a lovely game that was developed in India millennia ago and spread around the world. It was an aid to learning military tactics. When you start, your forces are lined up on one side of the board and oppose the enemy on the far side with a mirrored set up. There are only so many moves you can start with, and only so many responses to those initial moves. It is quite possible to memorise all of these options. At around 5 layers deep it becomes prohibitive to have memorised all of these moves – grand masters have memorised them, and that is why they are grand masters. For the rest of us mere mortals, we can look ahead a few moves and know what to do.

A good player has a number of tactics they will use, specific small scale set ups where they might attack two pieces with the same knight, or pin a queen to the king by threatening the king behind the queen. Then there are strategies such as control the centre of the board, or cross as many attack pieces past the centre line into the enemies territory as you can keep safe, or be aggressive so the other person has to become defensive.

In our decisions tree, we can create the beginning sequence of our match. I’ll lay it out here as a strategy first (high level of abstraction).

  1. Start out of range
  2. Try various wards compared to your opponent and ranges until you feel you can step in and control your opponents blade
  3. Step in and control your opponents blade
  4. Step further and strike your opponent

Now this will be done more as a decision tree.

  1. Step forwards and left of the line to your opponent, attacking from a raised sword to their collar bone
    • If you were not interrupted, then attack their collar bone, step left to exit to safety
    • If the person steps forwards to attack you first, then
      • If their sword is a threat, then adjust to cut their sword *
        • If you are still alive, then step lateral left into a pivot step and cut lateral right to their head
        • Exit back wards, sword in front to reset
    • If they deflect your sword first, then recover your blade through them
      • If they deflect your sword to your right, then cut laterally through their middle as you step laterally left
      • If they deflect your sword inwards, then extend your blade to thrust into them as you step laterally left
      • (Both of the above are working to exit you from the action for a reset)
    • If they retreated, then advance diagonal right step and cut at their sword
      • If contact is made, you are now in the same position as * above
  2. New branch -> … [not filled in]

This is a good beginner branch of a decision tree. The first step is simple – start an attack. Then some decisions need to be made depending on if the opponent does nothing, advances or retreats.

At the bottom of this branch list is a jump to another part of the decision tree. Another jump point is where you exit to reset, where there should now be distance between yourself and your opponent. What happens next depends on your relative positions and thus the beginning of a new decision tree.

To practice this, you start with just the first two layers of depth at a slow comfortable speed. Once you step in, does your opponent step in (take action), wait (take action) or retreat (take action). Once this has become fairly smooth, your opponent now can do more than just step, to make it through to the third layer, and once that is done, until you get all the way through all of the layers and retreat, whether you defeated them or not. As this becomes easy to navigate, increase the speed a bit. Once they becomes easy, increase your opponents resistance level. Once you have all of that at speed, add in extra options your opponent might do (one at a time) until that is easy. If that gets hard, slow things down until it becomes easy, then speed up.

Philosophies for your decision tree should consider:

  1. Moves should be the most efficient option (little effort, little time of completion – assuming all speed is the same)
    • If a stressed time move is used, define why this is the option you would use eg direct attacks are too well blocked, so out of line attacks are useful; or this enables my cloak to tangle their equipment without tangling my own sword
  2. Steps
    • Should change the range either towards your opponent or away from your opponent
      • Steps that maintain the range should have a justification for why you didn’t change range, but still gained advantage of control
    • Should most often be mixing a left or right component
      • Direct advancements to the opponent (down the line) are generally reserved for lunges
      • Direct retreats are ideally a temporary step to increase the opponents calculations, perhaps 1 in 5 retreats are directly backwards. (Otherwise the opponent only needs to watch 2 zones instead of 3).
  3. Noting where positions end up close enough that this is now a jump point
    • Factor in momentum

Perceptual Speed

Perception is a combination of sensory input and cognitive recognition.

It takes time to see a thing, recognise that thing and then store that thing for later recall and reflection. If the speed that you recognise things is not quick, then a faster fight will lead you to not be able to store most of the action, which will lead to choppy recollection.

The two factors to consider in this are

  • Keeping training bouts below the threshold of recognition, but by too much
  • Improving the speed of recognition

Useful Speed of Bouts

It is important to fence with speed, but if that is faster than we can store, then we can’t learn from that.

During training, find the speed that you can stay present and then later recall. If you find that you can’t recall later, even though you felt that you were fencing slowly enough to be present during the fight, then try a bit slower and see if that works. If it doesn’t, then the problem is the scaffolding is poor (see above).

Assuming that you are recalling the fight, then slowly ramp the

Improving Speed of Recognition

Improving the speed of your recognition means improving both your theoretical understanding and practice seeing and internally naming or matching the move to what you know.

To improve your theoretical understanding, start with a minimal set of moves, such as the Eight Cuts. Learn where they move starts and where it goes to. Learn why it moves like that. Learn tells of how to differentiate this move from the other moves.

Now practice these moves with another person (or in front of mirror) and name them as you witness them. As you get good at naming them, increase the speed of the moves. Once you are good at naming the moves at speed, learn and add additional moves.